Ice,

In order to get TRIM on your SSD in RAID mode you have to install RST 9.6.

Based on the number of ports I would expect the ICH ports to be Green and the yellow ones to be some sort of extra bonus controllers.
Keep the SSD on the ICH, the DVD should work on both the green and yellow ports, it shouldnt make any difference whether keeping it on the ICH or not.
(I've got my DVD installed on one of the "bonus" controllers, it's working just fine)
The same goes for the eSATA front panel connector, it shouldn't matter where you connect it.