Sorry for the slow response Ian....was gonna reply before work but remembered my car needed gas so had to leave a few min earlier to fill her up.

Anyway, without sounding crass, I don't like anything out there.

I tolerate the Sunbeam and respect the BigNG, but am starting to lean away from even those.

The Sunbeam and Lian Li variants have been what I use in my builds because they can handle a one amp load without drooping too much (well...lowest resistance setting is below 11V at 1A actually, still stronger than the rest) and because they do have an accurate 7V light change. I generally hate rheobuses because you never know what voltage you're at...the Sunbeam's light is too bright, but that's easy to fix. The Sunbeams do have a longevity problem when being stressed, in my experience, and also do suffer from noticeable droop.

Gaudy/blingy/flashy lights annoy me too....the world's best fan controller could be blingy and I wouldn't consider it. As such, I don't know much about the blingy controllers, but I can't imagine they're anywhere near strong enough to handle ~2A at 12V with no droop (what 3x110CFM fans would draw probably).

The BigNG is interesting....certainly the king of software-based controllers, but I really don't like the look (an anodized black box that can be hidden in a case more suits me), and the price is unattractive, as is the load handling for the price (20W analog :-/). Good thing about software-based controllers is you KNOW what voltage setting you're at and can even have it auto-adjust for you.

But honestly, I'm really starting to like switch-based controllers....or at least the idea of them. You can hardwire a 12V setting to handle ~250W (depends on the switch, wires, and soldering job...and eventually PSU), as well as a hardwired 7V and/or 5V setting...as well as an open-circuit setting. Problem is, none actually do this

That's why I plan on building my own sometime this summer....it'll have a 12V, 7V and off settings hardwired and be able to handle any load I throw at it....and it won't be blingy (nor will it be ghetto in the least).

Basically, I know nothing out there that meets your needs, but I wish I did