Car won't start help please!

[noroger]

Okay so, could I essentially just yank out the battery skip the sandpaper and what have you and put in a new battery?

I really rather not spend time sanding a battery and touching that crap, But how should I properly clean those cables? Can I throw that stuff in the trash even?

It takes 15 minutes max to do all that, and you probably don't need a new battery because it's the corrosion that's not letting the car to start. You don't need to sand it very nicely like a computer heatsink, just enough for a decent connection between the battery and the terminal wires. Put on some gloves and use something like a paper towel, you can soak it in a little bit of water too for easier cleanup. For disposal, take the paper towels you used and throw them into a bucket, throw some baking soda on them and put water in it. Baking soda neutralizes acid, so you can dispose of the water and the paper towels however you want afterwards.

Cleaning cables is the same thing, use water or water with baking soda (much better). Then take something round, and wrap around sand paper, then stick it in the terminal and make it a little shinny.