ok asus just released a new version of AIsuite that fixes the problem. i can see my vDIMM now!!. get it here if you're interested.

1.9v bios = 2.05v windows
1.96v bios = 2.2v windows
2.0v bios = 2.3v windows
2.1v bios = 2.55v windows

omg! i've been pushing 2.55v through my ram. how stupid is that. the vdrop is insane!!??!?

no wonder i was getting more stable memtest results with 2.0v in the bios. ok going to retest with proper voltages now. hopefully my ram is still alive. i just did a prime blend test for 3 hours and it was fine.