I have no idea where to post this, but here seems a good start...

!!! - QUOTES ARE CUT DIRECTLY FROM MY EMAILS - !!!
I can appreciate the frustrations with how long this is taking but I have actually arranged a meeting with my friend in the marketing team to find out if we have a marketing sample of the 4870X2 that we can hopefully send you this week as our head office is letting you and me down continually (They want to push the replacement back another! Week) and I think we are in a good position to ask/demand this. Ill e-mail you after I have spoken to him (meeting is at around 12:30) and let you know if I can do this to close your case sooner I can not apologize enough for how long this is taking and I think you for your patience (and for not trying to rip my head off)
Asus RMA emails from today.... After telling me they'll get me a "marketing sample" - a USED card.
I have good news (although it is not that great since it has taken so long, again I am very sorry for that) I have you card next to me. Can you confirm the address you want me to send it to and ill get it out today
Hurray! I'm about to reply when....
Really bad news I am afraid I have just opened the box to make sure everything is ok and I have found an 8800GTX! I am going to ask the UK manager to buy you a replacement 4870X2 ASAP to close this as another 3 weeks is just far, far to much.
...........Ok, they've obviously given up on me. They can't be bothered getting a replacement like any other company. I've been run around so long now (so has my contact who's worked really hard to get matters sorted) and decide they'll just go out and buy me a new card out their own pocket! HAH!
Ill ask the manager when he comes in if we can get an Nvidia equivalent instead. He has however given the go ahead for a buyback of a new 4870X2 for you. Yea I am going to address this with me managers as its not the first time the repair centre has sent the wrong item back to you.
Wait what? Buy a new 4870X2? GTFO! I paid £400 for that card and have barely had it in my possesion for no more than 1month at a time! I'm not giving away £200 for them to get a quick way out! If you're trying to avoid court at least buy me a decent new card equivalent to the money I've spent! How many cards have I RMA'd with the same or similar problem? Too many! Everytime I wait a minimum of 2-3 Months! No one knows what's happening! No one knows when or where the card is, or when a replacement is coming! WTF!?

~Bex