Just a story of my weekend. Not bragging, not trying to be rude, not trying to offend. Not trying to do anything, just tell a story. Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed living it.
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So this past friday (4/21/06), I went with a bunch of my friends from home (Haverhill, MA), to Montreal for the weekend. We stayed at the Hyatt hotel which happens to be right on St. Katherine's street right near all the action. It was pricier than we would have liked, but it was worth it in the end for the luxuries and location.
We drove up in two separate cars at two separate times. My friend Robbie drove up with his younger (but much larger) brother Matt, and our female friends Rachael and Veronica. I travelled up with one of my best friends, Rob, and our good friend Dave. Dave drove us in his rather well tuned eagle talon (awd, turbocharged) which unfortunately was more cramped than either Rob or I would have liked, but it did the trick.
We drove through NH, and then what-seemed-like-eternally through Vermont until we finally reached the border. We were greeted "officially" by what looked like a 13 year old girl in a uniform. We were asked such questions like "How do you know each other?", "Are you concealing any weapons?", and "Do you plan on leaving anything in Canada?". Which we of course responded to respectfully with "Homosexual homicidal inmates.", "Yes, AK47's for everyone!", and "Only a few mexican illegals that our in our trunk, the rest we'll take back home.". Feel free to throw those responses on to any or all of the questions I listed before, I think they are interchangable to a certain extent.
Anywho, so once we were in Quebec, we drove for awhile in what smelled to be one giant manure plantation. We later decided after further sensory investigation that cow
must be Quebec's chief export and import, as we saw only
silos and fields covered with
for what seemed like 50 miles. Luckily Canada doesn't have problems with terrorism, because from what we could tell, the methane gas levels in the air were higher than Jupiters, and it wouldn't take more than lighting a match to blow the whole place up.
We arrived in Montreal, and I was amazed at how much it reminded me of a slightly larger Boston. More tall buildings and overall a littler larger in appearance from the road. The city had a very bright, clean, and futuristic appearance even from as far away as we were at the time I had these thoughts.
The hotel was very tall and easy to find, so we parked and entered the building only a short time after we actually entered the city. We got to the room to surprisingly find our friends waiting for us (11pm at night), rather than already being at the bars and clubs. We didn't waste a lot of time before we decided to head out and commence on the losing of brain cells at alarming rates. We walk the streets, down St. Katherine's, and adjacent streets. We arrive at St. Denis street and see a lot of great bars. We stop at the first one that looks good to us and find that their going to have a band later and are looking for $6 to get through the door. We say "Meh, we'll come back after we're drunk.". So we stop at another bar not too much further down.
We find there's about 50-60 other people there that all look about our age (20), some a little younger, many a little older or the same age. We grab some jack and cokes from the bar and get things started. Beer after beer, shot after shot, all seven of us having a great time. We start talkin to some of the girls around us, some very cool, others we don't know because they couldn't understand us and we couldn't understand them. It's then, and a few more drinks later, that me and Matt begin talkin to one of the bartenders a lot. She's very friendly, very hot, very french (sexy accent anyone?), and she's the biggest tease in the world. At this time, it wasn't quite as evident to us, but the way she'd look at us while pouring drinks in the most provocative way possible and how she'd dance to the music from the dj was just total teasing.
Anyway, so we get really drunk and leave the bar. We stop at another place or two for a short while on the way back. We then begin walking home, me almost killing a drunk and angry french guy on the way home, and on the way Rob wanted to buy some "stuff". So we bought the stuff and he goes to check pockets and realizes that half of his "stuff" is missing. So he goes ballistix and we run around trying to find it. No luck. So Rob and I alone try and find the Hotel. Now bear in mind, when I said it was easy to find before, that was when I was not incredibly intoxicated. So now we are too drunk idiots roaming around the streets of Montreal at like 4am trying to find the hotel. It's then that we get split up and lost. Rob goes up about 18 blocks, and I am running around yelling his name trying to find him. Both of us end up asking and paying off homeless people to try and find out where our hotel is and where each other is. Finally, just as I am about to give up searching for him, I'm thinking he's probably passed out in an alley, or maybe in some sort of trouble, but I had searched everywhere in a 10 block radius by this point, so I determined I was waaay too drunk and it was hopeless. It's then that I get to the hotel, relieved, exhausted and worried that my friend is dead. And suddenly I hear someone across the street yell "oh, thank god, it's here!". And I say "Rob, holy
!" and we go back to the room. We end up waking everyone up and none of us get any sleep all night.
Next day arrives with the only transition being darkness to light. As I said above, we didn't get any sleep, so we just waited until the sun had been up for a few hours and the hang overs kicked in. We then ran down to the complimentary breakfast, at which I ate bacon and fruit...mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
It was here that we decided we'd check out the casino. Matt takes it apon himself to be the navigator. Believe it or not, taking the metro station via two different lines, and following up with a bus, we actually got there without screwing up or getting lost once. Once we were in the casino, we were like kids in an arcade. I had never been in one before, but I was determined to win big at the blackjack table. So we go up one floor, then another, then another, and another... Finally Matt says "screw this, let's just play a few slot machines and we'll look for the card tables again in a bit.". So I say, "oh come on, you're gonna be a granny and sit down like all these other senior citizens with a bucket of coins and press a button over and over again?". "yea" he says as he proceeds to insert a dollar coin into the machine, press the button, and win $25. Now he's got my interest. So I watch him dump 20 bucks back into the machine with no gain, and suddenly he hits $50, and then another $25, and so on. By now he's about $200 up. I begin playing next to him and I win maybe $5, and finally a $10, but only after drumping in three $20 bills and some change. I think I've had it and I'll just stick with a loss of $60 or so. But no, I become even more pathetic and decide to play on another machine. It's here that I hit $160, lose nearly all of it, and proceed to hit the same $160 win again! I end up cashing out with nearly $200. Hey, it's not much but it covers bar and travel expenses.
We spend a little more time at the casino, stop at the bar they had, and then head out. We grab some dinner at the underground mall (yea I know, we're fancy). And prepare for what will be another awesome night of intoxication.
We change, head out and it's only about 8:30 at this point. We walk allllll the way down st. katherines st about 8-10 blocks before the girls start complaining. You see, it was raining and actually pretty cold out that night, so walking wasn't the most ideal form of transportation at the time. We walk up a street adjacent to st. denis and end up not really finding any places that weren't just restaurants or anything of that sort. So, out of sheer laziness and wetness, matt and I decide we just want to go back to the same bar we went to last time.
We walk in, sit down at the first bar (we were mostly at the second the night before), and wouldn't ya know, our favorite tease is workin there tonight. We buy some jack and cokes (we were alternating who buys rounds btw), then some rum and cokes, then a shot of tequila, then another, then a beer, then another beer, then another shot of tequila, then another beer, and another, then another shot of tequila....and yea, you get the point. Since I was mr. money bags because of the casino, I told the bartender that I won a thousand bucks and decided to keep buying her shots. Matt and I basically hung at there the whole night, buyin her and the other barmaids shots and stuff. We talk to the bartender and the tequila girl a lot and they basically end up just hangin out with us all night as it wasn't too busy (saturdays arent the big night there, thursdays and fridays are). I start flirting with the tequila a lot and she's doing the same with me. May I just re-iterate that I LOVE french accents and all she had to do was say a word and I was in need of a new pair of shorts. Btw, this whole time Matt and I were getting demolished and hitting on the bartender and the shot girls, the rest of our friends were playin pool behind us, hangin out at the bar with us, or also at the Chaos Lounge (another bar). So don't think we were just ditchin our friends, we weren't, we were just rather focused are drinking a lot and talking to beautiful french girls, and can you blame us? So here comes the heavenly part. I am very drunk, but I guess I didn't become ugly and sloppy in my state (I'm one hot dude guys). The shot girl goes to the backroom to get something or put something away, I really have no idea what she was doing. I get up to go to the restroom (which is open door btw, right across from the "backroom" down a hall. I come out and she's on her way out too. She's looking at me and smiling, so I say "now is the time". So I grab her and pull her behind the wall and say "hey, you are just so damn sexy (they understand this word), could I just have a kiss?", so she says "A kiss?" (in her amazing french voice) and I nod my head, and then she nods hers. WOW, how lucky am I. So we make out for a little while behind the wall there; she smells and feels amazing. We stop and I say "when do you get off, we should hang out after", and by hang out I meant have lots of canadian sex. She says "I just broke up with my boyfriend, and he could see us and that wouldn't be good for you", so I in my drunken state agree and go back to the bar. Little did I realize that I shouldn't have given a duck (replace d with f) what her ex might think or do because I was leaving the following morning. But oh well, there's always next time and more french girls. So I am now by myself, matt got brought home by his brother robbie because he can't hang with me after 10-12 drinks. Rob, rachael, and veronica left for other places, and robbie and dave hadn't returned yet from dropping Matt off at the hotel. So I have another shot with my shot girl and the bartender. "On the house" they say, and I'm like "yea, well not really because I've spent like $30 on tips alone tonight for you girls". And after that I said goodbye and goodnight and attempted to head back to the hotel. Now, allow me to say that this is how I *think* everything happened because to be totally honest I don't remember most of the night, only bits and pieces. I stumbled home, encountered robbie and dave, who tell me that I told them this same story and could barely walk or talk. I get back to the room (don't remember this) and pass out on the bed. I wake up the next morning to Rachael and Veronica staring at me sleeping and giggling like three year olds. So I reach out to punch them, but my hangover prevents me (wouldn't really have hit em anyway........most likely). My head is POUNDING and I feel like puking is a must. But I don't throw back up my precious and expensive booze and we get up and check out.
We get to this place for breakfast called Tim Hornton's. I order a grilled chicken sandwich "grand" size with no tomator and an extra large coffee. I wait in the eternally annoying line for my food. They toss up this very tiny sandwich with tomato up on the counter and say "here ya go" in what I assume was an attempt at english. Pardon my lack of tolerance in this part, I was very angry. I say "what the hell is this?", remember I'm still drunk and hung over. They say "your order, you ordered this." I say "no, you are lying!". And six days later they cave and give me what I really ordered. You kinda had to be there, but it was downright hilarious my friends say. The food sucked btw.
So we drove home, 5 hours later with knees in chest and back broken. Surprisingly we still had our sense of humor and sanity.
So in the end, I gotta say, I fell in love with this city.
The people are respectful of their environment and of each other. Not once did I walk down the street and catch anyone giving me a look. I mean, even the bums were polite and wanted to have a conversation with you first before they asked you for money.
The whole place is incredibly clean, even the metro station. Just amazingly clean.
The women are phenominally beautiful. We barely counted even 10 women the entire weekend who what we'd consider "overweight" (yes I know how shallow that sounds, but we had to know if any existed).
Police are sparse and they can afford to be because no one causes trouble and everything is legal. Erotic material or services., alcohol, drugs, it's all accessible if you want it.
I just gotta say that I want to move here as soon as possible. The level of fun and freedom that exists here and unmatched. If you have not been yet, you must drop what you're doing now and go.
What a great weekend.
. Everyone who has went loves it there , glad you had fun and told the story.
166.166
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~A humping socket 462, delivered 6 years stable work, of an unseen scale ! 
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