i used them once and they split, all 4. may be due to the shoulder issue you mentioned, or maybe they were the wrong size for the panel they were in.
But they all split at the bottom so it appeared to be from vertical force.
i dont agree that they do decouple or isolate, they are just a dampener. and they only work on the vibration between the mating surfaces of the 2 objects.
the metal bolt is still coupling the 2 objects, the rubber washers are good and do help, but do not decouple.
the ones i use are 2 separate metal bolts, connected only by the rubber joint. it couples them together,as a unit and DE-couples them from themselves, physically.
exactly the same design and principle as that used in earthquake isolation for buildings.
decouple the solid foundations from the solid building with rubber mounts.
I don't think a rubber grommet on a building pylon would have the same affect.
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