Hey? It's quiet in here tonight..

[sinister1st]

Subject: Then the fight started

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office
to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my
driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized
I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You
might have gotten disability, too'

And then the fight started.....

Whew that was a good one.

[road-runner]

A man owned a small ranch in Texas. The Texas Wage and Hours Dept. claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.
'well,' replied the farmer," theres my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him$200 dollars plus free room and board.
The cook she has been here for 18 months, I pay her $150 plus free room and board.
Then there is the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work round here. He makes about $10 dollars per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a cheap bottle of wiskey every Saturday night. He also occasionally sleeps with my wife."
"Thats the guy I want to talk to ...The half-wit," says the agent.
"That would be me," replied the Rancher

[road-runner]

$10.00 Monkeys

Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.

He next announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.

The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would buy on his behalf.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys for 700 billion dollars.

They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of monkeys!

Now you have a better understanding of how the WALL STREET BAILOUT PLAN WILL WORK !!!! It doesn't get much clearer than this..

[Movieman]

Saw this and based on past experience it's pretty fitting..
Good night all, time for sleep.
Hey, at least she likes JD!

[road-runner]

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly


A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
Husband stalking around with a fly swatter

'What are you doing?'
She asked.

'Hunting Flies'
He responded.

'Oh. ! Killing any?'
She asked.

'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied.


Intrigued, she asked.
'How can you tell them apart?'

He responded,
'3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone.'