PDA

View Full Version : Do you believe in Santa?



JBELL
12-11-2003, 07:27 AM
SANTA CLAUS: An Engineer's Perspective

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them --- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second crates enormous air resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

TheDude
12-11-2003, 07:31 AM
Boy...that lump of coal when you were a kid really messed with your head didn't it? :D
:stick:

JBELL
12-11-2003, 07:33 AM
Originally posted by TheDude
Boy...that lump of coal when you were a kid really messed with your head didn't it? :D
:stick:

:stick: :stick: :stick: :stick: :smileysex :banana: :stick: :frag: :upset: :upset: :argue: :brick: :brick: :censored: :cussing: :censored: :grr: :wierd: :wierd: :wierd: :dammit:

TheDude
12-11-2003, 07:37 AM
Sorry dood, didn't mean to dredge up painful childhood memories.:(

GET OVER IT!

JBELL
12-11-2003, 07:38 AM
Originally posted by TheDude
Sorry dood, didn't mean to dredge up painful childhood memories.:(

GET OVER IT!


lol

Attitudx
12-11-2003, 08:08 AM
i believe i believe course some say i need a life too

Vitalizer
12-11-2003, 08:30 AM
does facts are quite amazing:)

ZhaoYun
12-11-2003, 11:50 AM
Santa says hi. http://users.telenet.be/eforum/emoticons4u/party/fest25.gif

Smizack
12-11-2003, 05:27 PM
I don't have a chimney... F* santa!:D

IFMU
12-11-2003, 06:01 PM
Why of course I believe in Santa.......
Heres a shot of he & I in 2001

Iridium192_217
12-11-2003, 06:21 PM
Used to believe in him as a child...

Those calculations should also take into effect the traveling time from the North Pole to his first stop athough that is hard to determine.

Tweaked!
12-12-2003, 03:57 AM
Originally posted by Smizack
I don't have a chimney... F* santa!:D

I do, it's got a 6" flue liner and is fed by a wood burning stove. Try adding that into the equation, the extra heat load and friction caused by sliding down chimneys that small topped with the fact that probably half or better are fed by an exhausting heat source. :D

st0nedpenguin
12-12-2003, 07:00 AM
Meh, at the age of about 5 I went round all the kids in my family breaking the news to them, needless to say, it didn't go down that well. :D

Also, don't forget all the sherry and mince pies left out for him on mantlepieces the world over, the fat bastard would be hammered about 2 minutes after setting off, thus leaving him at the mercy of the police and/or scally children...

And just to clarify for the Amercans reading, sherry and mince pies > milk and cookies. :D

quicksilver98
12-12-2003, 09:51 AM
So santa isnt real?

%*#* $$%( god @@#$ Sunofa $#%^

jmg823
12-12-2003, 06:19 PM
Here are some "Santa" Pictures (http://webpages.charter.net/rjgreen/jeremy/page7.html)

GeekGoddess
12-14-2003, 05:17 AM
NOBODY MESSES WITH THE GODDESS!!!!!!!!

IFMU
12-14-2003, 05:24 AM
Originally posted by GeekGoddess
LOL,,,its not unusual for my kids to find a small lump of coal in their stockings,,,just as a reminder that santa knows that they havnt been total angels....
LMAO!!!

I like that idea... never thought of that one... Might have to talk with the ex and see what she has to say about doing something like that.......

TheDude
12-14-2003, 08:07 AM
GeekGoddess,

Cool avator! :D

GeekGoddess
12-14-2003, 11:40 PM
NOBODY MESSES WITH THE GODDESS!!!!!!!!

Soulburner
12-14-2003, 11:54 PM
Hilarious....

How do you like my avatar? :D

TheDude
12-15-2003, 12:25 AM
Originally posted by Soulburner
Hilarious....

How do you like my avatar? :D

Too funny! :D :D :D

st0nedpenguin
12-15-2003, 05:32 AM
Originally posted by Soulburner
How do you like my avatar? :D

Fired it off to my boss at work, I loved it and so did she, she wants to buy the t-shirt. :D

jmg823
12-15-2003, 08:01 PM
Originally posted by jmg823
Here are some "Santa" Pictures (http://webpages.charter.net/rjgreen/jeremy/page7.html)

u guys like my pictures?
i have more funny pics but there not christmas pics. give em a look anyway clicky (http://webpages.charter.net/rjgreen/jeremy/page9.html)

GeekGoddess
12-16-2003, 12:44 PM
NOBODY MESSES WITH THE GODDESS!!!!!!!!

eshbach
12-17-2003, 09:22 PM
wait wait wait. now, i'm no physics genius, but how did you determine the mu (static and kinetic) for flying reindeer on air? i'll give you the ability to ignore friction on take off since it's metal on ice and mu would be low, but i don't know if you can say everything you're saying without mu kinetic.

Lady_Germ
12-18-2003, 03:44 AM
*Gives JBell a dirty look*

Shame on you!!!!
There could be lil youngsters on here that believe in santa!!!

Maybe he is just simply magic and can take on anything...no matter how obsurd it may seem...

I know what's wrong...your jelous that you ein't santa arnt you JHunny!!!! huh...huh...huh!!!! ;)

No but seriously...where did you come up with all of that s*$t? You didnt personally think of all of that did you?? If you did... You have too much time on your hands! :rolleyes:

Merry Christmas... Ho Ho Ho if i dont get in here to say it sooner!!

JBELL
12-18-2003, 07:01 AM
Originally posted by Lady_Germ
*Gives JBell a dirty look*

Shame on you!!!!
There could be lil youngsters on here that believe in santa!!!

Maybe he is just simply magic and can take on anything...no matter how obsurd it may seem...

I know what's wrong...your jelous that you ein't santa arnt you JHunny!!!! huh...huh...huh!!!! ;)

No but seriously...where did you come up with all of that s*$t? You didnt personally think of all of that did you?? If you did... You have too much time on your hands! :rolleyes:

Merry Christmas... Ho Ho Ho if i dont get in here to say it sooner!!

I wanna be santa and meet the bartender fromt he movie 'Bad Santa' and bang the hell out of her in my car.

Lady_Germ
12-25-2003, 07:46 PM
Originally posted by JBELL
I wanna be santa and meet the bartender fromt he movie 'Bad Santa' and bang the hell out of her in my car.

hehehe!
what happened to the christmas spirit huh?!! haha
x x x

IFMU
12-25-2003, 09:18 PM
Originally posted by JBELL
I wanna be santa and meet the bartender fromt he movie 'Bad Santa' and bang the hell out of her in my car.
AMEN!

JBELL
12-25-2003, 09:56 PM
Originally posted by Lady_Germ
hehehe!
what happened to the christmas spirit huh?!! haha
x x x

ok ok ok

i wouild ... llike to give her my xmas stocking that is hung with care.